Birth Parent Conversations

And What of the Fathers?

June 17, 2010

My children have rarely asked about their birth fathers. Their questions and comments focus on their birth mothers. When attempting to steer them in the direction of birth fathers, I’ve had little luck. I can’t walk in my kids’ shoes. But I try as hard as I can to understand their perspectives, a way to […]

Read more →

A Birthmother’s Thoughts

June 2, 2010

Some adoptive parents have a relationship with the birthmother of their child. Others do not. Regardless, the birthmother and adoptive parent still travel the journey of adoption together, because they are part of the child’s journey. What does a birthmother want the adopted child to know? After re-reading The Best for You, I Wish for […]

Read more →

The Best for You

May 14, 2010

I just finished reading The Best for You, written by Kelsey Stewart.  Written in a conversational first voice and from Stewart’s perspective as a birthmother, the book candidly and warmly speaks to the child who was adopted, answering the questions I have heard my children ask: “Why didn’t she keep me? and “Did she love […]

Read more →

Honoring Mothers

May 4, 2010

So here we are, coming up on another Mother’s Day, celebrating motherhood and mothers. Regardless of whether you celebrate this day, do you find yourself reflecting on your child’s birth mother? Your child has suffered the primal loss of her birth mother. How do you feel about your child’s birth mother? What is your heartfelt […]

Read more →

“Was I Bad?”

March 18, 2010

Each of my kids have asked me this question. It’s to be expected; after all, what parent in your child’s grounded world would give their child away? Your child knows your love, commitment, and security and knows you wouldn’t give her away, so why did her birthparent? In your child’s world of absolutes, she associates […]

Read more →

The Fear Factor

March 4, 2010

Consider for a moment what goes through your child’s mind when she thinks of her birth parents, especially her birthmother. Typically a mixed bag of deeply-seated emotions. One of those emotions is fear of hurting you. Yes, you. Your child struggles with this guilt because she loves you. Her allegiance is with you and the […]

Read more →