Parenting from “More”

February 17, 2016

Just shy of two decades ago, early on in the process of adopting, I asked some parents what it was like to parent the adopted child. The responses were typical: “Wonderful!” “It’s as though she’s always been with us!” “Seamless!” I listened but felt I wasn’t privy to the reality of adoption. Something within me, […]

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It’s Not About You

October 16, 2012

I say or contemplate about this often: “It’s not about me.” This phrase embodies what I’ve come to understand, what I ponder several times a day when working with clients or parenting my kiddos. “It’s not about me,” has become a mantra of sorts, reminding me to consider my children’s needs—those that stem from having […]

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Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude

June 5, 2012

There are often ramifications from the loss(es) suffered by having been adopted, having nothing to do with how the child is raised within his or her family. Feelings of rejection, shame and, issues with control, intimacy and identity can manifest within the adoptee, regardless of whether he or she has been raised within a loving […]

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Being Present

May 15, 2012

Sometimes a hug isn’t enough. Sometimes love isn’t either. After asking permission to come up to the sacred spot (another story), I climbed into the top bunk to find my sniffling, sobbing, sad daughter wrapped up in her blankies and surrounded by her collection of stuffed animals and one of our (her) boy kitties. The heat […]

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Curiosity Does More Than “Kill the Cat”

April 23, 2012

I witness curiosity—the intense desire to know or learn—in varying degrees in my children. One of my kiddos pretty much takes life at “face-value,” accepting whatever comes his way, not questioning much. But another truly leaves “no stone unturned,” examining life and situations and probing deeper, often going into further study. When small my daughter […]

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April 4, 2012

I received an email from a friend the other day, also an adoptive parent. She shared that her daughter was all “filled up” and why this was so, and I smiled, inwardly nodding as I understood the joy in her story. I witnessed a similar “filling up” with my son some weeks ago. My husband was […]

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