From the category archives:

Claiming

Reflections: Ten Years

December 7, 2010

Note: I write this post with my “parent hat” on, instead of my “educator hat—” although that hat is always with me…
2010 has is only weeks away from being over. We move into a new decade, full of hope opportunity and promise. This year I again filled out a census for our family. In doing [...]

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How to Help Your Child Process the Past

October 21, 2010

Adoptive parents are very good about painting the rosy picture—how they came to be families, how they love their children. Parents do this to claim their children. The also do this because as an adoptive family they are in the position of having to validate their family to extended family, friends and strangers. But often, [...]

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Reluctant Relatives

October 12, 2010

Sometimes the whole family isn’t completely on-board with the decision to adopt, especially if the adoption is a transracial adoption—a child that differs ethnically or racially from the adopting parent(s). One such experience my husband and I had was with his dad.
My father-in-law was “concerned” when we shared that we were adopting a child from [...]

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The Tale of the Ugly Duckling

August 2, 2010

Remember the story of The Ugly Duckling, in which a baby swan was hatched and raised by a duck? The mother duck could teach the ugly duckling everything there was to being a duck, but she couldn’t teach him about being a swan.
The baby swan was perceived as an outsider and, therefore, believed he was [...]

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At What Cost?

June 8, 2010

“How much did she cost?”
“How much did you have to pay?”
“How much did I cost?” (My daughter’s question addressed to me.)
“How much did you pay for me?” (My son’s question.)
Ouch. This cuts deep, yes?
We have profound emotional ties to our children and the journey that brought us together. It’s painful to be asked what it [...]

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Blood and Adoptive Relations

May 7, 2010

Depending on the child, the understanding of what “blood relations” means happens around the ages of six to eight. My kids began to ask very specific questions about how we were all related during these ages. With these questions came a better understanding of the differences between birth and adoption. My family is of blood [...]

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