Shame

You Are the Gatekeeper of Your Child’s Story

February 8, 2016

Adoptive parents are proud parents, wanting to share the emotions, wonder, and joy of their child. Often, what they feel is akin to wishing to share aspects of creating and bringing a child into the world—the labor and delivery, milestones, and bumps in the road. But, there is a big difference. Their child is adopted. […]

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The Importance of Veracity

May 17, 2013

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” ~ Thomas Jefferson One of the questions I’m regularly asked by clients is, “Do I need/have to tell my child everything?!” My response is always the same, “Yes, in age-appropriate language and prior to adolescence.” Telling the truths, even the difficult ones, is part of […]

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Toxic Shame

March 26, 2012

“I’m a mistake.” “I am not worthy.” “I must have been bad.” All of the above are sentiments that commonly plague the mind of the adopted child, even when they know their entire story. At the heart of these thoughts lay rejection and fear that he may again be abandoned, this time by you. Regardless […]

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Lost and Found: The Adoptee’s Voice

January 13, 2012

To be found implies you have been lost. Many adoptees express that they feel or have felt lost, due to loss. Adult adoptees’ insights and experiences should not be ignored or disregarded; however they often are. Adult adoptees’ stories, sometimes painful or joyful or mixed, are valid. They should be invited to the “table” and […]

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Can We Heal? Can We Help To Heal?

November 3, 2011

By Presidential proclamation November is again Adoption Awareness Month. In regard to this, two-time adoptee Jennifer Lauck, author of the best sellers Blackbird, Still Waters and Found, has launched an initiative to open up a national conversation about adoption. Jennifer believes, as I do, that there is a way to heal and transcend the experience of […]

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The Hard Truths: Band-Aids Won’t Work

September 22, 2011

I can’t stress enough how important it for parents to share all of their child’s birth history and related facts with them prior to adolescence, in age-appropriate language. Yes, the hard truths are difficult to share because adoptive parents have so much emotion invested in the adoption journey and love their children so deeply. But […]

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