It’s Not About You

October 16, 2012

I say or contemplate about this often: “It’s not about me.” This phrase embodies what I’ve come to understand, what I ponder several times a day when working with clients or parenting my kiddos. “It’s not about me,” has become a mantra of sorts, reminding me to consider my children’s needs—those that stem from having […]

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Toxic Shame

March 26, 2012

“I’m a mistake.” “I am not worthy.” “I must have been bad.” All of the above are sentiments that commonly plague the mind of the adopted child, even when they know their entire story. At the heart of these thoughts lay rejection and fear that he may again be abandoned, this time by you. Regardless […]

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Adoptive Parenting Needs: Education

March 5, 2012

You have special needs as parents of children who have been adopted. More is required of you as parent because your child has certain emotional vulnerabilities due to adoption. You must prepare to address those and help your child with them. One of these tools at your disposal is education, knowledge. This should be ongoing […]

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February 14, 2012

We use the word or a form of it often to qualify the concept of love, specifically how we expect to or do feel about our children. Unconditionally—without limitations, absolute. We use “unconditionally” to express “pure” love, of that between members of our family, those who we are profoundly committed to, no matter what. Loving unconditionally comes […]

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Lost and Found: The Adoptee’s Voice

January 13, 2012

To be found implies you have been lost. Many adoptees express that they feel or have felt lost, due to loss. Adult adoptees’ insights and experiences should not be ignored or disregarded; however they often are. Adult adoptees’ stories, sometimes painful or joyful or mixed, are valid. They should be invited to the “table” and […]

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Happy Holidays

December 17, 2011

Everyone is home. Just this week I took two days off to pick my oldest up from college and bring him home (along with a special young lady). It is difficult to explain the joy in having us all together.  I feel, well…, almost giddy. Our family feels more settled, content and accepting of the changes […]

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