Attachment

Parenting and Partnering: I Hope You Dance

June 22, 2016

Do you dance? I do, although not as well as my husband. I can work through and memorize the steps and patterns, but the fluidity takes some time. In fact, it took me years to learn the true art of partnering with him—the essential non-verbal cues necessary for a smooth connection and easy transitions between […]

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Stress Management for Adopting Parents

March 23, 2016

Every change we experience is stressful, even positive change. Managing your stress—eustress (a beneficial reaction that galvanizes you to perform, achieve, or overcome; feeling positive and fulfilled) versus distress (feeling overwhelmed, often temporary acute mental and physical suffering) is up to you. Adoption is right up there with the top stressful events in a person’s […]

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Parenting and the Importance of Self-Compassion

February 12, 2016

Today I’m hosting online, in a Facebook group for mamas: “Relationships, Intimacy, & Parenting.” The topic I’ll be exploring with group members is self-compassion, a necessary component of relationships, intimacy, and parenting—particularly when parenting the adopted child. I invite you to ask to be added to the group if the topic interests you. I say […]

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“A” is for Adoption-Attuned Parenting

March 25, 2015

When I reflect on the process of attunement—a parent’s highly instinctive state of emotional connection with their child—the example that comes to mind is when a parent knows exactly why his or her child is crying. Admittedly it took me a few days to know what my infant Chinese daughter’s particular need was when she […]

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Reunited Twin Sisters Grow Up Worlds Apart

October 19, 2014

“Even if I run and run I can’t stop thinking of her. My biggest wish is one day she’ll come here and see where I live. … I think about her every night because I miss her so much. I care about her a lot.” Alexandra, adopted daughter of Wenche and Sigmund Hauglum, Fresvik, Norway, […]

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Parenting the Adopted Child: It’s About More than “Heart”

February 13, 2014

Adopting parents often ask me how they can build a strong parent-child connection. They are nervous and excited about “getting it right.” I believe that building a strong parent-child connection comes down to several key points that must become lifelong commitments. Be proactive. Educate yourself by reading adoption books and websites. Create a library of […]

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