Abandonment

Parenting from “More”

February 17, 2016

Just shy of two decades ago, early on in the process of adopting, I asked some parents what it was like to parent the adopted child. The responses were typical: “Wonderful!” “It’s as though she’s always been with us!” “Seamless!” I listened but felt I wasn’t privy to the reality of adoption. Something within me, […]

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You Are the Gatekeeper of Your Child’s Story

February 8, 2016

Adoptive parents are proud parents, wanting to share the emotions, wonder, and joy of their child. Often, what they feel is akin to wishing to share aspects of creating and bringing a child into the world—the labor and delivery, milestones, and bumps in the road. But, there is a big difference. Their child is adopted. […]

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Toxic Shame

March 26, 2012

“I’m a mistake.” “I am not worthy.” “I must have been bad.” All of the above are sentiments that commonly plague the mind of the adopted child, even when they know their entire story. At the heart of these thoughts lay rejection and fear that he may again be abandoned, this time by you. Regardless […]

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Lost and Found: The Adoptee’s Voice

January 13, 2012

To be found implies you have been lost. Many adoptees express that they feel or have felt lost, due to loss. Adult adoptees’ insights and experiences should not be ignored or disregarded; however they often are. Adult adoptees’ stories, sometimes painful or joyful or mixed, are valid. They should be invited to the “table” and […]

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Timing Can be Everything

December 1, 2011

I’ve wanted to address this topic for some time and it seems particularly fitting as we move forward into the hectic holiday season. What topic? Time management. We’re all busy. Some more than others. And people vary on how much they can have and manage on their “plate” at any given time. In classes I […]

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Can We Heal? Can We Help To Heal?

November 3, 2011

By Presidential proclamation November is again Adoption Awareness Month. In regard to this, two-time adoptee Jennifer Lauck, author of the best sellers Blackbird, Still Waters and Found, has launched an initiative to open up a national conversation about adoption. Jennifer believes, as I do, that there is a way to heal and transcend the experience of […]

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