“Celebrating adoption may mean celebrating family separation, secrets, sealed birth records, lies.” ~ Jodi Haywood
This month Laura Barcella bravely shares the difficult feelings she has experienced and continues to experience as an adopted person on the NY Times online blog, Motherlode. I encourage you to read Laura’s words and to read the linked articles and posts as part of your ongoing parent preparation education; there is a lot of food for thought. Consider Laura’s words and viewpoint whether you agree with her or not, because she is an adopted adult, an adult version of your adopted child or the child you hope to adopt.
Currently there are 415 comments about Laura’s article as I post this. When you can, carve out an hour or more of your busy day to read through them. Try to remove yourself from the role you have in adoption; hard to do I know, but try to detach. Take a deep breath, remind yourself to remain detached, and open your mind. There are a myriad of stories, experiences, and perspectives represented throughout the comments.
Adoption is complicated, folks. Adoption is no one situation or one story fits all.
Adopted adults are changing how we—adopted people, birth parents, adoptive parents, adoption professionals, support people and support organizations, adoption agencies, etc.—view adoption, as well as our roles connected to it. This ground swell of movement is good, as painful as might be. The voices of adopted adults need to be heard. The voices of adult adoptees help to create awareness throughout the constellation, and hopefully, compassion and needed change. This awareness can influence our language and our perceptions, effectively helping us advocate for all who are impacted by adoption.
For Discussion: Can you make more time to learn about how adopted people can feel about adoption? Follow these hashtags on Twitter: #flipthescript #NAAM #adoptee. You’ll discover a multitude of posts and valid opinions. Please share your thoughts here as well.
~ Photo Credit: NliveN, LLC