In my daily work with parents I encourage them to read a variety of material about adoption. Blogs—by adoptive parents, birth parents, and those who have been adopted—are something I feel parents should read, with the intent of gleaming perspective, understanding and empathy for the complexities that adoption encompasses. I’m linking to a recent post which appears on MLJ Adoptions, Inc.’s blog—“Things”—written by Christine Romo, who was born in Seoul, South Korea and adopted at the age of two.
Christine’s post about attachment is a reminder to adoptive parents about the importance of things, many of which bear little to no importance to many. She shares, “I told him (my husband) that adoptees view “things” differently than those who haven’t had that experience.” and “I told my husband that I have a great attachment to “things” because of those earlier losses I experienced in life.”
Profound insight and useful information for parents. Consider what this means when you are cleaning your child’s room or when they misplace something. Most kids have a fit when their special things are misplaced, damaged or lost. But think about the child whose birth history and connections are missing, forever severed. I cannot tell you how many times I have sewn my girls’ loveys. And how I learned not to wash Snakey, because he would then smell wrong. One of my daughters’ keepsake bins hold cloth-diapers, something she sucked on for two years—what soothed her as a baby and toddler. She was adamant that they were included, although at the time she couldn’t express why (she can now).
Parents: I hope you will read Christine’s post and take it to heart, remembering the significance of attachment to things from the adopted child’s viewpoint. What do you think?