Timing Can be Everything

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4387504237_001bb6739b_zI’ve wanted to address this topic for some time and it seems particularly fitting as we move forward into the hectic holiday season. What topic? Time management.

We’re all busy. Some more than others. And people vary on how much they can have and manage on their “plate” at any given time.

In classes I encourage parents to prioritize their time, to simplify their lives. This is not simply to make life easier for them. I offer this advice to parents, as a tool to help them parent their child—who counts on and expects her parents(s) to be fully present when they say they will be or when she needs them to be.  For parents to be otherwise can call forth (trigger) the core issue of rejection (abandonment, not loved enough to be kept by birth mother/parents, unloved, unwanted, given away), so:

Don’t be late:

  • Picking up your child from school
  • Picking up your child from activities
  • Attending your child’s activities

Don’t forget:

  • To attend your child’s events: extracurricular activities, school events, and recognition opportunities
  • The importance of parent-teacher conferences
  • The importance of establishing and adhering to traditions, as in bedtime rituals, Saturday morning dad-made pancake breakfasts.

Take stock of what you are committed to—activities, events, and special short-term commitments. Better yet, make a list. I find things are easier to assess when we can visualize them. Ask yourself why are you involved in the activities and events on your list. Ask yourself what you can give up. After reducing the list, how can you prioritize what is left on it?

Things do happen. People and parents aren’t perfect. When you mess up, talk with your child and reinforce how much you love and value her. Apologize and ask to be forgiven.

Parents: How good are you at keeping to your schedule? Are you late? Chronically late? Have you ever forgotten to pick up your child? What have you done to rectify the situation? Have you made changes in your time management?

~ Photo by UrsaMater

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