Some adoptive parents have a relationship with the birthmother of their child. Others do not. Regardless, the birthmother and adoptive parent still travel the journey of adoption together, because they are part of the child’s journey.
What does a birthmother want the adopted child to know?
After re-reading The Best for You, I Wish for You a Beautiful Life: Letters from the Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran Won to Their Children and speaking to several birthmothers, I came up with these points:
- She loved and still loves your child.
- She chose adoption because she had situations and questions she could not answer/address/overcome.
- She wanted to give your child life.
- She wants your child to know as much of his or her beginnings, in order to help him or her explore and examine possible adoption issues.
- She is part of your child.
- She wants you to teach your child respect by talking respectfully about her and the decision she made.
- She thinks of your child.
Parents: Keep theses points in mind when your child asks about his or her birthmother. What else do you feel your child’s birthmother would want your child to know?