As your child begins to understand more about what adoption means, he or she may want answers…or not. I have found that two of my kids are very comfortable talking about “everything adoption,” comparing “notes.” (They were born in different countries.)
My kids have spun some interesting tangents off of the facts they do have. And although they embellish their stories, they stop just short of becoming fairytale-like. (I have stepped in more than a few times to keep them on track.) Their conversations with each other are easy going and supportive. They are mostly positive.
What I do hear as they are becoming older are some questions and observations, after they have been silly, when they can be serious:
- What they think and feel about adoption
- About how they “fit” within our family and within their friends
- How they are different and similar
- What they think of our family
- What life might have been like if they had lived in their birth country
- Whether they would have enjoyed the food (as my younger son told his sister, “It’s a good thing you like rice.”)
- What language each would have spoken, but they both speak English
Parents: Have you had the opportunity to listen to your child with the company of another adopted sibling or friend who has been adopted? What have you observed?