You probably don’t want to hear this because it is an uncomfortable truth. Adoption can suck.
While there are many adults adoptees who are “content” with the fact that they were adopted, there are also some “angry,” ticked-off ones as well. And they’re busy venting their feelings in the cyber world: angry they were adopted, raised in a white family/community, saw themselves as white, had difficulty adjusting to their race/ethnicity, were part of “the baby market,” didn’t feel heard, emotionally/physically abused, weren’t encouraged to grieve, and/or search for answers or birth parents.
You may have come across them. Or, if you’re writing or blogging about adoption or parenting an adopted child, you may have had one of them contact you. I’ve had several contact me.
I bring this up because their pain underscores the need to take full responsibility for your whole child and any possible issues. You need to focus on being fully invested and never giving up.
You should read their blogs—what adult adoptees share and why they feel the way they do. There are many lenses through which to view adoption. What’s yours?
Parents: Love and patience only go so far. What is your wisdom on parenting your adopted child, beyond loving him or her? Please share here.