“Those” Questions


Think about it this way. How do you feel when you’re caught off guard by questions about adoption? How do you react? What does your reaction to the questions tell your child about your comfort level with the topic of adoption?

How you react, respond and frame your answers matters. Your non-verbal posturing is also picked up. Everything—all of the small nuances are picked up by your child. They have a built in “truth meter.”

I remember pausing once when I was asked a question by someone who knows we are an adoptive family in front of my son (he is not adopted), because I was caught off-guard by the intrusiveness of the question.  And he called me on it. I’m glad he brought my response to my attention. Afterwards I wondered what message I would have conveyed to one of my children who were adopted if they’d been with me. Would they have called me on it? I don’t know…

Parents: You’ve heard this before—actions speak louder than words. How do you prepare yourself to answer questions that arise because you’ve adopted?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Von March 29, 2011 at 2:55 pm

You might like to add “Being Adopted – The Lifelong Search for Self” Brodzinsky, Schechter and Henig Anchor books to your book list.It’s a necessity.


Judy March 30, 2011 at 9:53 am

Thanks, Von. I did add it into the sidebar.


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