From the monthly archives:

March 2010

Warrior Parenting

March 29, 2010

Did you truly understand that when you chose adoption as a means of creating your family that you would become so involved in advocacy?
Your introduction began early with the home study process, justifying to private agencies and governments why you should be recognized as a good candidate for parenting a child…something you would never be [...]

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Triggers

March 25, 2010

An event or situation that causes grieving in the adopted child is known as a trigger. For years, my daughter’s birthday was a trigger for her grief. The weeks leading up to her birthday were filled with immense pain and she spent counteless hours in my arms crying.
Other triggers can be:

Mother’s Day
First day of each [...]

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Helping with Discovery

March 22, 2010

Someone once gave me this advice: don’t become caught up in providing all of the answers for your child. Let them discover some of those answers for themselves.
This holds true with adoption. Be there to guide. For example, ask an open-ended question something along the line of, “Have you ever thought…?”
Be available to help with [...]

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“Was I Bad?”

March 18, 2010

Each of my kids have asked me this question. It’s to be expected; after all, what parent in your child’s grounded world would give their child away? Your child knows your love, commitment, and security and knows you wouldn’t give her away, so why did her birthparent?
In your child’s world of absolutes, she associates her [...]

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One Story within Your Child’s Story

March 15, 2010

Although I shared my personal story with my kids in age-appropriate language while talking about their adoptions, they didn’t hear it. But as they moved into tweens and teens they began to understand that adoption was more complex than what they took away from their story at younger ages.
They realized the converging and intersecting paths [...]

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Adoption Language

March 11, 2010

Words are powerful. They’re loaded with meaning. How something is said denotes how the person saying it feels and what they think. Words can lift someone up, but they can also tear them down. The nuances of language can undermine. Hurt.
Proper adoption language stops misconceptions about adoption. The correct words convey the correct facts. Make [...]

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